I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
