hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize