Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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