Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think pants incapable of making pants work
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
