You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
