I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
