I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
me + whiskey = a bad person
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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