The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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