I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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