Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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