why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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