Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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