How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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