Someone shit on the floor
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
