I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
