Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize