doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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