This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
