can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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