wat bout pragnant strippers??
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
