I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
