Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
