I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
