Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
