i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize