So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
