Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my being single is dangerous.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
