I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
