im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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