No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
