adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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