PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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