Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
