i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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