I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
