honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
