tonight lets celebrate not being married
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
