How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
