Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant

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  (909): good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant http://tfl.nu/4y6m
  Replies (10) Good night (593) Bad night (2568)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side

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  (603): yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side http://tfl.nu/thqa
  Replies (77) Good night (1102) Bad night (3163)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet

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  (480): My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet http://tfl.nu/85uj
  Replies (15) Good night (2050) Bad night (1123)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now

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  (651): you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now http://tfl.nu/tgtb
  Replies (27) Good night (8949) Bad night (844)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.

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  (815): It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve. http://tfl.nu/el01
  Replies (28) Good night (6094) Bad night (899)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  How did your new apartment party go last night?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.

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  (812): How did your new apartment party go last night? (219): I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in. http://tfl.nu/upa6
  Replies (3) Good night (3916) Bad night (843)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.

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  (913): I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week. http://tfl.nu/re6m
  Replies (15) Good night (3714) Bad night (1095)
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  (831): View more from California

  So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...

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  (831): So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me... http://tfl.nu/3wpt
  Replies (18) Good night (1407) Bad night (6628)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel

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  (432): the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel http://tfl.nu/t4be
  Replies (18) Good night (3496) Bad night (1283)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

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  (503): I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested. http://tfl.nu/ut9v
  Replies (1) Good night (1667) Bad night (1050)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off

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  (219): he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off http://tfl.nu/kmmo
  Replies (10) Good night (1216) Bad night (368)
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  (310): View more from California

  I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.

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  (310): I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle. http://tfl.nu/a8xs
  Replies (0) Good night (708) Bad night (344)
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  (818): View more from California

  Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you

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  (818): Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you http://tfl.nu/ksv2
  Replies (1) Good night (397) Bad night (583)
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  (650): View more from California

  So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.

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  (650): So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer. http://tfl.nu/8gu5
  Replies (5) Good night (633) Bad night (319)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.

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  (407): What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats. http://tfl.nu/w4l0
  Replies (1) Good night (809) Bad night (424)

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