Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  I regularly think about how cool your nickname is

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  (818): I regularly think about how cool your nickname is http://tfl.nu/glb5
  Replies (3) Good night (1991) Bad night (1112)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.

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  (703): Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally. http://tfl.nu/lv6m
  Replies (17) Good night (599) Bad night (1296)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  it's more of a rinse.

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  (773): is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar? (773): it's more of a rinse. http://tfl.nu/la1k
  Replies (66) Good night (1403) Bad night (2466)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>

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  (302): she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to => http://tfl.nu/cnq4
  Replies (52) Good night (755) Bad night (10193)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Found more tequila

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  (573): I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair (573): Found more tequila http://tfl.nu/cg6k
  Replies (9) Good night (4549) Bad night (493)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.

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  (301): this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately. http://tfl.nu/cwhn
  Replies (30) Good night (2028) Bad night (4944)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?

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  (847): another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/u1gt
  Replies (29) Good night (1073) Bad night (4512)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting

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  (201): i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting http://tfl.nu/qjw5
  Replies (7) Good night (1107) Bad night (3892)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.

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  (804): Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster. http://tfl.nu/ns19
  Replies (10) Good night (3602) Bad night (1043)
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  (61): View more from Australia

  Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed

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  (61): Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed http://tfl.nu/qr9l
  Replies (10) Good night (4583) Bad night (874)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?

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  (980): Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew? http://tfl.nu/j4qs
  Replies (12) Good night (2539) Bad night (581)
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  (714): View more from California

  Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.

  (1-714): View more from California

  If he was naked that was me.

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  (714): Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed. (1-714): If he was naked that was me. http://tfl.nu/ou2y
  Replies (10) Good night (4733) Bad night (569)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.

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  (575): You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/h3k6
  Replies (13) Good night (1720) Bad night (564)
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  (585): View more from New York

  And I feel bad.

  (716): View more from New York

  Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?

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  (585): And I feel bad. (716): Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft? http://tfl.nu/a3w7
  Replies (7) Good night (1665) Bad night (734)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.

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  (727): I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age. http://tfl.nu/xhom
  Replies (1) Good night (433) Bad night (724)

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