Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  well..are you winning?

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  (732): i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head. (215): well..are you winning? http://tfl.nu/bl8w
  Replies (24) Good night (1625) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up

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  (413): so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up http://tfl.nu/rtem
  Replies (23) Good night (3806) Bad night (686)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery

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  (217): Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery http://tfl.nu/m6f7
  Replies (12) Good night (2383) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right

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  (513): Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner. (615): That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right http://tfl.nu/5ajr
  Replies (15) Good night (2504) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.

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  (270): Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz. http://tfl.nu/48gp
  Replies (22) Good night (2930) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.

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  (207): Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america. http://tfl.nu/yc3t
  Replies (7) Good night (3065) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.

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  (617): she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax. http://tfl.nu/m9dz
  Replies (3) Good night (1321) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.

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  (772): Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible. http://tfl.nu/t50d
  Replies (10) Good night (1898) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest

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  (250): I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest http://tfl.nu/zut9
  Replies (18) Good night (1356) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std

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  (970): I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std http://tfl.nu/52gl
  Replies (14) Good night (691) Bad night (1633)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater

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  (226): I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater http://tfl.nu/c1nm
  Replies (6) Good night (1016) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.

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  (315): Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men. http://tfl.nu/0oi0
  Replies (6) Good night (628) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs

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  (651): Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs http://tfl.nu/pah7
  Replies (2) Good night (817) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"

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  (909): Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead" http://tfl.nu/8n1v
  Replies (0) Good night (592) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me

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  (905): I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me http://tfl.nu/utzc
  Replies (2) Good night (442) Bad night (457)

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