quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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