You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
