16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
