I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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