that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
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Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
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Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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