i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Hello my rib-scented angel!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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