I think im going to throw up on grandma
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
dude. I can hear the air.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
