there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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