You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
