Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
