am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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