I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just want nice things and good sex
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize