dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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