He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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