can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize