Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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