a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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