We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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