Yo dont text me then not text me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
