If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
