I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
