Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
