she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
