Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
