put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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