i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
