She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize