I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
