There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize