??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
