I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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