They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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