The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
