not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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