why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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