So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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