Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
