is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
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T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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