Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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