Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
