No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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