I'm going to jail i love you
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Brb crying the tears of my youth
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
