I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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