she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
