she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
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My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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