Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
