i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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